Tag: Relationships

Challenging Your Assumptions and the Need to Predict

In an effort to minimize risk, we all have the tendency to predict possible outcomes and plan accordingly. To make these predictions, we can't help but draw from past experiences and preconceived notions of the world in order to keep ourselves safe. And this is not always a bad thing. Predicting and falling back on ...

Accepting the Consequences of Living Honestly

After years of struggling with perfectionism and people-pleasing, I'd made up my mind to live differently: to focus on living in alignment with my values, regardless of how people responded. I gave up trying to control how people reacted to me (which perfectionism and people-pleasing were attempts to do), focusing, instead, on the only thing ...

Embracing the Messiness of Life

Having just moved into a new apartment, I naturally have the desire to keep it clean and tidy. My kitchen is a prime example: when I first moved in, I restricted my movements to keep it as spotless as possible, only to realize this was holding me back from actually doing anything. In order to ...

Top 3 Life Lessons from Partner Dancing

Last weekend I attended my first three-day congress for a partner dance style called Brazilian zouk, which consisted of back-to-back workshops and nightly dance parties known as "socials". Only since returning home have I begun to process the full weight and significance of this experience, which I'd like to share with you now. It sounds ...

We Can’t Always Protect Other People’s Feelings & That’s OK

Yesterday I accidentally upset a woman by texting very briefly in the movie theatre (mind you, I was texting underneath my jacket with my screen dimmed to maximum, but I guess she still caught a glimpse of the glare). It was the kind of text that needed an urgent reply, but I get it: people go to ...

Free to Love: Reflections on Fulfillment & Validation

I am no stranger to the aches and pains of yearning to be loved. Even though we're often told to be fully satisfied in God's love, many of us still yearn for that human kind of love, the genuine connection between two people to walk together as companions in life. But it is a danger ...

To Love is to Be Vulnerable

I've never been an open book. I've always been guarded, never wearing my heart on my sleeve, "opaque" rather than "transparent," and fairly difficult to read (at least that's what I've been told). Yet despite being reserved, I still believe that allowing myself to be vulnerable and to share my life with others (even if it's just a few ...

The Truth About Healing

Well, I suppose it's safe to say that I've done what most people can't do. I let go, when most people would latch on. I leaped and I did, in fact, fall. I let go and I did, in fact, lose. I consented to having my heart broken, knowing full well what I was getting myself ...

Meaningful Encounters

I am often afraid of what I need the most. Intimacy is one of them. And I'm not just narrowly talking about 'romantic' intimacy. I'm talking about the kind of intimacy that all human beings need to function: a slightly higher degree of closeness, trust, and vulnerability with certain people.  While I'm definitely working on ...

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Moments of Impact

My theory is about moments, moments of impact. My theory is that these moments of impact, these flashes of high intensity that completely turn our lives upside down, actually end up defining who we are. The thing is, each one of us is the sum total of every moment that we’ve ever experienced with all ...