Couple

Love, Actually: Letting Go of Expectations to Embrace Reality

Love isn't always like it is in the movies. Falling in love doesn't always happen in an instant, like a dark room that's suddenly lit at the flip of a switch. Sometimes it's more like a slow and steady sunrise that gradually turns the night into day, transitioning at its own unrushed pace. Maybe love ...

Lost Innocence

Although I love the person that I've become, I can't deny that there are certain aspects of myself that I wish I could revert back to, particularly in relation to my spiritual life. Sometimes I wish I could go back to the former version of myself for whom faith in God's goodness, let alone existence, ...

Top 6 Lessons from the Past Year

To be honest, I’m still scratching my head wondering why I’ve been unusually happier this past year. It’s not like I accomplished anything big. The resolutions I made last year are the exact same ones I have now. I’m still scrambling for a greater sense of meaning and purpose. I’m still trying to reacquaint myself ...

Loving in the “Absence” of Love

Anyone who's ventured into the dating world knows that only the lucky few emerge completely unscathed. Most of us are bound to face a disappointment or two, to make a mistake or two, to have had our hearts broken or to have faced the difficult decision of breaking someone else's. You win some and you ...

letter writing

Letters from Past Loves

I continue to be amazed by the various times I've received what I call “letters from past loves" … or rather, long text messages that read like letters from people who are no longer in my life in the same capacity, but who continue to mutually share a profound reverence and gratitude for the fact ...

fork in the road

Healing the Fear of Making the Wrong Decision

Growing up in a religious environment, there had always been an emphasis on discerning and following "God's will" for one's life. There was this notion that God had a plan for every single one of us and that our job was to do our best to yield to that plan—ranging from following whatever vocation we ...

Top 4 Lessons I Learned from the Past Year

A part of me was somewhat reluctant to look back at the past year—not because it was particularly atrocious, but because it was tinted with a bittersweet note. Looking back at wonderful memories also reminds me of the people I shared them with who are no longer in my life in the same capacity they ...

Change is Hard: Why Knowing This Frees Us From Shame

It occurred to me that most of the things I say in this blog aren't exactly new; they're simply reminders of things that people already know but perhaps forgot. Most of us already know that we should, in theory, love ourselves. We know that authenticity is better than self-abandonment or chronic people-pleasing. We know that ...

bandage

Ripping the Bandaid Off: A Metaphor for Healing

I threw some bandages over some small cuts I had, because they stung like crazy whenever I showered or whenever they scraped against materials. What I didn't realize was that the bandages would end up irritating my skin even more; apparently I had some kind of allergic reaction to the adhesive. I eventually had no ...

The Space Where Healing Happens

A few weeks ago, something happened that triggered me. By "triggered", I don't mean being overly sensitive or easily offended (as the word seems to suggest these days). I mean that something happened, which was so reminiscent of a traumatic memory from my past, that I literally felt as if I had been transported back ...

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